oh, it’s a big smoke.
it’s been a month, and there was a man. let’s leave his identity at that. he didn’t spoil my bed, but he sat at the foot until three in the afternoon the last time that i saw him. he left, and i tried harder than i remembered to prove that there were gigantic reasons to come back. i threw caution to the wind. i am rejected. what i seem to be finding scary is accepting that not only will people do this to you, they will do it often. there is somebody he reminded me of, and i didn’t think about it until yesterday, but he seems to be horrifically scared of how he may actually be feeling. he’s following a specific set of rules of people who don’t really know what they are doing most of the time, and sometimes, people choose comfort, even if it isn’t comfortable, over something that they are forced to face and accept. i don’t know how much faith i should place in him coming back, or if i should trust that we will ever see each other again. communication is key, but i have been denied. to be fair, there should never be an end to how much you give. i just need to remember that not everybody chooses to take it.
